The Secret Formula of Getting What One Wants – Just “Give”!
The secret to get what you want is revealed. Simply by giving. The reasons are explained using the classic philosophical question: “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” The chicken and the egg, which forms the circle of life, serves as a profound analogy to giving and getting what we want: the circle of joy. The concept is explained in the clear and refreshing voice of Masami Sato, the author of ONE Book.
As humans, most of us naturally have endless desires for all kinds of things. And of course, the traditional principals of economics tell us that while wants are unlimited, resources are limited. This induces us to think, the more and more resources we have, the more and more desires we will be able to fulfill. We become very protective of our resources. We then think sharing or giving these resources will reduce the portion that can be used to get what we want. This is the traditional win-lose game that is being played.
Then, is it true?
What if the answer was “no”? What if it actually contradicts the secret of getting more? What if the secret to get more is simple – by giving more?
One can get something just by giving something else. Exactly the way one can have eggs by raising chickens. As simple as that. Normal. Automatic. And it is a completely joyful experience.
First, let us start with a small comparison to explain things.
Chicken and Egg: The Circle of Life
Philosophers have made this query ever since time dawned, “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”
The answer to this endless discussion is simple: It actually doesn’t matter because both chickens and eggs are here now. But if we want to have more great outcomes, we can choose to start somewhere.
Giving and Receiving: the Circle of Joy
What if we asked the question in a different manner? “Which comes first, giving or receiving?”
Again, for better results, we have to begin somewhere. Giving away things to others is definitely far simpler than attempting to get it first!
What is the outcome, when we try to get it first?
If we hope to have something, surely we would try to acquire it. And once we get it, we would cling on to it. This is surely natural – it makes sense rationally.
But the actual result of ‘trying to get’ is mostly not ample and actual long term benefits.
For example, hoping to see others happy is not at all about deriving joy from them, or manipulating them to become happy. It is about how much happiness we can give them and thereby share with them. Full stop.
So how do we begin to get what we desire?
By starting from the other end of the circle- by giving generously!
When we start giving before we even have what we hope to get – that which we dream of – we are sending out a powerful message to ourselves which tells us, ‘there is enough, and more will come.’ It allows us to sense the joy today – the joy of giving.
All we need to do is give out the love in ample measures to others. It just returns to us. Giving love is the only way to be fully loved. When we acknowledge the greatness of others’ achievements, and their great qualities, again, that recognition comes back to us. They recognize us, because we are ready to recognize them.
In the same manner, if we want to have plenty in our life materially, financially, and mentally, we have to share in full measure with others, what we want.
Some are ready to give more physical things like time. Others opt to give what they can spare financially, like money. Those who give more (time, money, compassion, love, thoughts) have these things in abundance because it is the surplus. And surplus is the natural law of life.
Just remember the rule of the game
One rule: never expect a return when we give.
When we have the anticipation that giving involves ‘getting’ something back, we become unhappy when we do not see the thing returning to us fast. We may even feel unhappy towards the one who gets the gift. And having a negative feeling for someone is definitely not a right state of affairs! So we can know the real pleasure of giving when we are doing it with the awareness that we are actually doing it for ourselves – we are doing it for our own pleasure!
Losing to win, giving to receive
It may initially feel like we are losing out. Yet at some level we know that getting without giving is not a sustainable life model. And we’ve known that from the very beginning. That’s why tithing has been such a natural part of the lives of many successful people. And they didn’t always do it publicly so it wasn’t done to gain a better reputation. It was just because that was the way it was.
Just take a look around. ‘Simple’ forms of life on the earth do it routinely. The bumblebees fertilize the flowers in return for the honey they take from them and ensure that the flowers bloom profusely. Habitually. That is the rule. They do not do it consciously. That is why they maintain nature’s balance, without even trying.
Giving to another is just a role of who we are, it is the same as having; nothing more, nothing less. No confusion, no strings attached, just letting go easily.
The real secret of getting more can be summarised in two steps: Give first, and do not expect anything in return.
When we let go and give generously, what we want will be delivered to us. Naturally.
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